Handshake, High-Five, or a Hug
Posted by Barb on April 21, 2010
When Friday afternoon rolled around, I was usually very much ready for the weekend. As an elementary teacher, I spent many hours planning my lessons, grade papers, connecting parents if necessary, attending meetings, and putting it all out there to teach my students. I was exhausted, but never too tied to wish my students a good weekend as they left the classroom at the end of the week.
Starting the first Friday of the year, I would have my students lined up for dismissal. As they exited one by one, they had their choice of shaking hands, giving a high-five, or allowing me to hug them.
A note about the HUG – Now I know some of you out there are thinking, “Well I can’t do that. You can’t touch kids these days.” My thought was, well if I’m going to get fired for something, then let it be for a hug. Research has proven that physical contact is vital for humans’ emotional well-being. So if we are trying to nurture students, why can’t we touch them in appropriate ways? For example, if children are crying, I think you should be allowed to hug them, hold their hand, or touch their shoulder. And what about when your struggling students finally understand a concept that has taken longer then their classmates to master – what’s wrong with giving them a hug to celebrate their accomplishment?
Yes, there is a word of caution. I would make sure that if you do make physical contact with a student that others are around. Keep your door open and don’t hide anything. You know the kinds of students you work with, so if you don’t feel comfortable giving your students a hug, then a handshake or high-five will work just fine.
Students turn to those teachers they trust and respect, which must be earned. At first students were a little skeptical and most gave me a high-five. This I realized was because many of them didn’t know how to properly shake hands. I showed them what it looked like and explained what a firm (not crushing) handshake means. Slowly the hugs started coming, usually by the girls. But after a few months, that’s all I got for all of my students. Once in a while I had a student was pissed with me about something, and then it was back to a handshake, but returned to a hug the following week. I often found students coming up to me the other days to say good-bye and to give me a hug.
Whether it is a high-five, handshake or the hug, it doesn’t matter. Kids today just want your attention and affection. So next time your students exit the classroom, take an extra minute to send them home with a smile on their face and a sense that someone cares about them.
Paul Townsend said,
I receive criticism from TEACHERS, not parents. Touch is our first language. Long before we can see an image, smell an odor, taste a flavor, or hear a sound, we experience others and ourselves through touch, our only reciprocal sense. I value the child — the person — who, at my school, often does not receive the same emotional support and attention as we might assume. I am a father of five and see through the lives of my children how important touch and validation and support are to the child . . . but how to communicate? In an ELL classroom, one must discover a common language. Touch, whether hug, fist bump or high five, is necessary to ALL of us.
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