Tips For Parents: Better Ways to Ask The Homework Question
Posted by Marsha on January 25, 2012
I am so on to my kids. I realize that simply asking if they have any homework is like asking how was school today. I’m setting myself up to receive a vague, one syllable response or grunt. It is not their fault. The problem is we have different ideas about what constitutes homework. My idea of homework includes the literal homework assignment of the day (the one that is due tomorrow) as well as reviewing notes from the day’s lessons, studying for up coming quizzes and tests, and working on projects whose due dates are in the near future. My intelligent sons, however, cleverly use this misunderstanding to avoid doing any more than the homework that is due tomorrow- bless their manipulative little hearts. So, rather than engage in a battle over definitions, I started asking homework questions in levels. NOT to my surprise, homework started taking on a new look in my house. Here are my levels of homework questions. I go through each one every day. Well, almost every day.
Level 1A: Do you have any homework that is due tomorrow? If the answer is yes, it is done at this time. If it is either “no” or “done” I proceed to level 2. (Sometimes I spot check and ask for proof of completion… my version of a pop quiz. Just to remind them that I wasn’t born yesterday!!)
Level 1B: Do you have any quizzes or tests tomorrow? If answer is yes, I reply with an open ended, “So…”
Level 2: Did you take any notes in any of your classes that you can review? Usually there are and they get reviewed at this time.
Level 3: Did you read from your text book, or any source, today? If the answer is yes, I “insist” that they take notes from either what they read, or pre-read what they will be reading tomorrow. This doesn’t always go well, but they know I am on to them. Plus, once they have experienced the benefits of pre-reading or taking notes they know they don’t have a good argument. If there are not notes to be taken or chapters to pre-read, I proceed to level 4.
Level 4: Do you have any quizzes or tests you can start reviewing for? I am serious about reviewing for quizzes and tests. It is really another way to reinforce level 2 question which prepares them for upcoming tests. Reviewing for a test is simply rereading notes taken in class or from text. It is not “studying” or cramming”.
Level 5: Do you have any projects/research papers coming up that, since you don’t have homework, you can work toward completing?
The purpose of my question levels is to teach my kids that homework is not the end all, especially at the middle and high school level where the content is harder and deeper. In order to be a successful student, they must review what they learned that day. I recently learned that the brain needs re-exposure to the content to “move” the information from short term memory (what students learn during the day is stored in short term memory) to long term memory (which happens when we sleep). The more exposures students have to content, the more likely that content or information will get embedded in long term memory. Think of it as skipping to the front of the line full of information waiting to go into long term memory.
The truth is, there is much competition for parents. We have to help our kids juggle everything from reasonable after school snacks (mothers of teenagers know what I mean) and perhaps a quick nap to their social networking life, to video games, movies, and TV, to sports and jobs and, heaven forbid-chores! We feel the need to micro manage their time because we know, if left up to them, they would let it slip away. The problem is I get tired too, but nagging divides me from them. Asking questions, on the other hand, helps shift the responsibility from me to them. Of course I wish they were always mature and self motivated enough to do this on their own, but until they do, I have to remember that I am not only the adult, I am mom!
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